You're Not the Only One
- Margot Hillier Twomey
- Nov 6, 2018
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 25, 2018
Many kids are going through the same thing you are! And like you, many of them just want to know what to expect during puberty. If you want to know more about change, bodies, hormones, or periods, this quick health ed lesson is for you!

I recently conducted a study on 100 adults with female anatomy to find out what it was about puberty that made it feel like a scary and isolating time. Only 35% of the people in the study qualified for early puberty, but 55% of them said they still were not prepared. When I asked them who/what they would feel most comfortable turning to for information, most people said a parent or caretaker, but the next big group wanted to turn to a website.

"It's different for everyone. Don't assume that if you're uncomfortable, everyone else is. Be real with doctors and parents about how you feel and what's bothering you."
Of the 100 people in the survey, 50 people said they wanted more information on health education, and 31 people said they wanted to know that what they were going through was normal. 14 people said they wanted more support during puberty, and others said they wanted to know that puberty looks different on everyone.
Here is the information they know now that they wish they'd known at your age:
Health Education:
You will learn a lot in school about puberty, but my data shows that you won't learn nearly enough. 55% of the people in my study said their health education was not good enough. This quick lesson in health ed might fill in some of those gaps.

1. CHANGE. Your eating habits will change! Your body shape will change! Your hygiene routine will change! As your brain and body mature, so will your habits. Feeling and acting differently is totally normal. Don't worry if you suddenly feel hungry all the time or see that your body frame looks different. Your body needs to go through these changes in order to stay healthy during puberty. It's okay to be a little freaked out or insecure about all this stuff - it's a lot to take in all at once! Remember, though, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone goes through it! Always, always ask your questions and voice your concerns.
2. EXPECTATIONS. Puberty is not that much fun. Sometimes people say this is when you become a woman, but that's also not 100% true. Becoming a woman is a social milestone, but puberty is a biological one. Even though puberty is biological, some social norms do come along with it. For example, you might feel pressured to wear a bra or shave your legs. If your breasts feel uncomfortable during physical education, it might be time to find a bra for some support. If your leg hair is noticeable and uncomfortable, you have the option of getting a razor to shave it off. However, you don't have to do any of these things if you don't want to. Your body, your choice.
3. BODY PARTS. The photographs of bodies and body parts you see in magazines and on the internet are not representational of actual female bodies. For example, areolas and nipples come in all different colors and and sizes. So do labia! Most health education courses don't show the diversity of body parts - they sometimes barely even show the basics! Most people, regardless of their sex or gender, grow hair around their nipples. Again, this is totally normal. In real life, there is so much variation between bodies, even within families! Think about all the differently colored eyes you've seen, or hair colors and textures. Think about how many different heights you can be, or shapes of eyebrows or ears there are! If all of those body parts can look so different on different people, why would be expect breasts and vaginas to look the same? That would be crazy!
4. HORMONES. Hormones are the backbone of puberty. They trigger almost every change you will go through at this time. One big thing they affect is your mood. You might notice yourself in the next few months and years becoming irritated more quickly and frustrated more easily. You might also be able to recover from these feelings quickly and easily. That's called a mood swing, and EVERY adolescent experiences them. You might feel totally out of control in those moments - it might be really hard to think straight! And that is perfectly normal. Hormones also cause acne, pubic & body hair, vaginal discharge, menstruation, breast growth, and so much more. Your pediatrician can help you feel good and healthy about all of those things.
5. PERIOD PRODUCTS. There are tons of different kinds of products to manage your period. The two most common are pads and tampons. Both can be messy, and both can leak. Leaks happen to everyone! When you're on your period, keep extra pairs of underwear and pants in your backpack or locker, just in case. Menstrual cups are also an option, but most of them are made for adults - make sure you get the right size and follow the instructions to keep it clean. No matter what you hear, neither tampons nor menstrual cups can take your virginity. Pads come with a sticky adhesive to keep them in place in your underwear. Some have "wings" that you fold around your underwear for extra protection. Tampons come in applicators that you stick all the way into your vagina - after putting in a tampon, make sure you take out and throw away the applicator. Even if your flow is light, make sure to change your tampon at least every 8 hours. Regardless of whatever period products you decide to use, always use unscented products. Scented products can result in irritation and infections - it's not worth it! It is worth it, though, to get a pencil bag to store pads and/or tampons in on the go. You can bring it with you anywhere. Keep 7-8 products in there, and restock when you get low. At the end of your period, make sure you refill it so you're ready when your next period comes.
6. PERIODS. For the first couple years, your period might not come regularly. You can track your period by putting a red dot or a "P" on a calendar you keep in your room. It can also be helpful to track your mood, appetite, and any pain you feel. There are also some phone apps, like Period Tracker, that you can use. Eventually, you might be able to see a pattern and know how to expect your period. For example, you might start to feel irritable and cry often a week before your period comes, or you might get cramps a day or two before it starts. Everyone is different, so it's important that you know your signs. How your mom, sister, or friends feel can be super different from you! You might also be interested to know that period blood isn't always bright red - usually, it's more of a brown color. Over the counter pain medication like Advil or Tylenol can help with cramps. Heating pads and light stretching can help, too. If your cramps are so painful that you can't go to school every time you get your period, go see your doctor to make sure you're getting the right period care. Endometriosis and other reproductive disorders can be minimally invasive to your life if you get the right care early. (Endometriosis is a disorder where the tissue that's supposed to line the uterus is also present on your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and/or intestines).
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